Originally posted on VentureBeat:

Esper does maid stuff

Oh, Seduce Me. Actually, no, please don’t. Nothing can prepare you for the story you’re about to read.

Simply put, Seduce Me is porn. It’s incredibly dull, tedious, and theoretically erotic to someone, somewhere. I had the misfortune of reviewing it earlier this year.

This is the tale of a completely broken player, one who spent hours screen-capping static pornographic images and arranging them in the least enticing slideshow ever created. Hilariously, the woman who wrote Seduce Me claims that the guests at international socialite Pietra’s party are not demeaning to women, and they’re certainly not nauseating stereotypes ripped out of adolescent fantasy. No, these women have true depth while freely divulging every aspect of their sex lives to an absolute stranger.

In effort to survive playing Seduce Me for as long as I have, I viewed it as a “choose your own adventure” story. Only my character isn’t here…

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